by Nikki Amare | Nov 28, 2019 | Musings
Today is Thanksgiving for those of us who live in the US. It’s a time of year that families typically come together and create a large feast. Turkey is usually involved, but not always. This year, since it’s just Hubby and I we’ve decided to skip the turkey and get a couple Cornish Game Hens instead. We’re not going to do the usual fair of a million side dishes and at least three different dessert options like we normally do either. We’ll probably do the birds, one or two sides, and some rolls. Nothing too fancy but something that’s at least reminiscent of the traditional holiday meals we both grew up with. But without a month worth of leftovers.
To me, this holiday is about family and friends. It’s about being thankful for those in our lives and the time we had with those who are no longer with us. It’s about being thankful for the people, not the things, we have.
Celebrate the important things. I know I will.
Happy Thanksgiving!
by Nikki Amare | Nov 20, 2019 | Musings
Pro Tip: When scheduling a blog post double check the YEAR it’s scheduled. This post was meant to go live last Wednesday but since I accidentally scheduled it for November of 2020, you’re getting it a little late.
I watch a lot of YouTube channels and read a lot of different blogs. My interests vary from writing / publishing to homesteading to zero waste. I have goals for all of those things and I’ve found that my goals don’t usually meet what others thinks my goals should be or what they consider a real writer/homesteader/zero waster to be.
When it comes to publishing, I want to be able to write books and share them with others without letting publishing take over my life. I would like to be able to consistently make 30,000-50,000 dollars a year—after taxes and expenses. I see things online where others will say something along the lines of… in order to be a real writer, you must do X, Y, or Z. None of which I’m doing or plan to do.
One of my favorites is that in order to be real writer you must write every day. It’s right up there with in order to write a book you have to plot.
I don’t write every day. I’ve never plotted a book and don’t plan to. And I’ve yet to publish a book under this pen name. Yet none of those things make me less of a writer. It’s Wednesday now as I write this. On Monday I wrote over 12, 000 Words. Tuesday I wrote 500. Today I haven’t written anything on any of my three works in progress. I don’t write consistently and I don’t plan to spend a ton of time on social media or going to conventions. Some people would say I’m not a real writer or I’m not serious about my career.
The truth is that we just have different goals. We want different things and that’s okay. I learned some hard lessons the first time around—about publishing and about myself. Publishing consumed my life and five years after my first book came out I walked away from publishing. In part because of my health issues and other family issues that required my attention, but also because I had let publishing take over everything for so long I was burned out. I honestly never thought I would get to the point where I would ever want to write again, let alone even consider publishing.
It took me more two years before I could even read a book again just for enjoyment. Along the way I’d trained myself to analyze every story to see what they did right so I could improve my own writing, because I listened to the more experienced authors who told me I had to do X, Y, and Z in order to be a “real” writer or to be successful. Instead of making me a better writer it cost me the joy of reading and it made me constantly second guess myself. I started worrying more about getting it “right” instead of just writing the story. And soon I would find myself sitting at my desk writing the same sentence or same chapter over and over and over again. Trying to write the book you think you should write is the best way to sabotage yourself.
And sadly it took much longer than it should have for me to realize I was wrong to listen to them. Their idea of success wasn’t the same as mine. And even though I didn’t feel like a “real” writer, I was. I am. Even if I were to decide not to publish another book for the rest of my life, I’d still be a writer. I stopped publishing several years ago but I didn’t stop writing. Not really. Yes, it was six months or more before I put words to paper again and I convinced myself since I wasn’t writing with the goal of publishing, it wasn’t really writing. Or that it didn’t count as writing because a lot of the stuff then was more just scenes or ideas that popped into my head. Ideas I knew I wasn’t ready to pursue, but thought was too good to just forget.
Writing is just as much a part of who I am as the color of my hair. I’m a writer, a storyteller. Its not just what I do but who I am.
So while my definition of success might look different than yours it doesn’t make either of us wrong—just different. So the next time some says in order to be a “real” fill in the blank, ask yourself if their… advice lines up with your goals. Question whether or not you would be happy with their definition of success. Odds are following their game plan won’t make you happy. Don’t be afraid to do things differently. Don’t be afraid to ignore the pressure to do things the way others think we should. Figure out what you want and be brave enough to go after it.
by Nikki Amare | Nov 6, 2019 | Musings
I used to be a sugar junky. I was never someone who ate a lot of desserts. In fact, I rarely ate dessert because I didn’t, and still don’t, like sweet foods. Drinks, however, were another matter altogether. I used to drink Mountain Dew. A lot of Mountain Dew. Then I decided to give up caffeine and I think I slept for three weeks before I decided that a little caffeine wasn’t bad and started drinking a cup of tea in the mornings just to get me going. Then throughout the day I would only drink water. This is still the case. But in my tea I would put something like three or four tablespoons of sugar. And yes, you read that right. Tablespoons! Not teaspoons.
Once we started eating more and more Japanese food I noticed that my tea was tasting awfully sweet even though I was using the same amount of sugar I normally used. So I started to gradually decrease the amount I used over several months. I went from three of four tablespoons of sugar in a twelve ounce cup of tea, to two teaspoons. And honestly, I’m at the point where it’s starting to taste overly sweet again, so I’ll be reducing it a bit more.
After I started cutting back on sugar I started to notice how sweet things were. Food actually tastes better to me now.
There are several things, like avocados, that I wouldn’t eat a few years ago. Hubby has always loved them but every time I tried them they tasted like nothing. They have a very mild flavor but with all of the sugar I consumed throughout the day I wasn’t able to taste anything. So to me avocados were just a flavorless mushy texture. Now, I love avocados. We eat them at least three times a week on average.
American grocery stores are full of sugar-laden foods. Everything seems to have sugar or high fructose corn syrup in it these days. Or worse, some kind of sweetener that leaves a horrible aftertaste. I know the sugar is supposed to be worse for you, health wise, but, for me, the sweetener is definitely worse. The only sugar substitute I’ve found that I actually liked was the Monkfruit sweetener, but it’s ridiculously expensive and I’m too cheap. It’s easier to just use less sugar.
In the beginning I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to do it, honestly. Just half a scoop less of sugar in my tea made it bland. But I stuck with it determined to cut back. After a week or so of drinking it with just a little less it began to taste sweet again. Once that happened I cut back just a little bit more. And I kept doing that over several months. I would just reduce it by a small amount and as soon as that amount started tasting sweet again I would add a bit less. There were always days in there were I was more or less choking down the cup because it just wasn’t sweet enough, but usually by day three of the reduced amount it was tolerable again. Usually it was a week or two before it started to taste sweet. I might allow myself a few days of that sweetness before I reduced it even more. When I was stepping it down I was meticulous about measuring the amount. It made it easier to step down, for one thing. Another was it gave me a sense of accomplishment when I no longer had to use the bigger measuring spoon. I think that also helped with the process.
I don’t plan on giving up sugar altogether. I don’t think that’s realistic. At least not for me. But I think less sugar is definitely a good thing.
by Nikki Amare | Oct 28, 2019 | Musings
For the last year, Hubby and I have eaten mostly Japanese cuisine (with the occasional Korean or Chinese dish thrown in there as well). It wasn’t a conscience decision. Like we didn’t sit down on day and say, “Okay, let’s start only eating Japanese food.” It was more that we both really like Japanese food and Hubby—who does the majority of the cooking these days—found a few recipes he wanted to try. Those few turned into a few more and then he started making sushi and before we knew it we were eating Japanese food six out of seven nights a week.
But here’s the thing, once we started eating less and less American food, we both lost weight and started feeling better. As I started to research more on the Japanese diet I learned that it’s one of the healthiest diets in the world and that Japan has the largest population of octogenarians in the world. So they clearly must be doing something right.
Another thing I’ve recently noticed; on the nights when we do eat something other than Japanese or Asian cuisine, I wake up the next morning practically starving. My stomach will be growling and I can’t wait to eat. Not to mention I usually end up eating more than normal. That’s not the case after a Japanese meal.
Usually in the mornings I’ll wake up and it will be an hour or two before I start to get hungry. I will make myself something like bacon, eggs, and toast or oatmeal. Which aren’t typical Japanese breakfast dishes but they are a lot smaller portions than I used to have.
Then for lunch I’ll have noodles, or rice and some kind of fish usually. Occasionally I’ll have leftovers, although these days there are a lot less leftovers than there used to be since it’s easier to cook for that meal only. Unless we intentionally want leftovers. (I sometimes make extra rice so I don’t have to make it for lunch the next day.)
Another thing is, it doesn’t take nearly as much to make me feel full. Not only do a feel full but I stay full throughout the day. No more being hungry an hour after I eat. I believe it’s because of the umami found in most Japanese dishes. Something that isn’t really found in other cuisine.
With almost every meal we have a bowl of miso soup—miso is a fermented soy bean paste—the fermentation is good for gut health and it tastes good. In a traditional Japanese meal you don’t serve drinks with your meal. I used to drink a glass or two of water with each meal. Now, I don’t even take a cup to the dinner table with me anymore.
When I show people pictures of a typical meal at my house I usually get one of two responses: I’d need bigger portions or I don’t like vegetables.
When it comes to food in America portions are huge—especially the meat portion. Everything is supersized and overly large or else we don’t feel like we’re getting enough for the hard earned money we’re paying. But all of that supersizing has led to the obesity epidemic that plagues this country. Or at least greatly contributed to it. Whereas, a typical Japanese meal is made up of several small portions, the meat isn’t typically the main focus of the meal. And the meats used are usually healthier than what the average American meal uses. Lots of fish, chicken, and pork.
We eat a lot of vegetables; cooked, raw, pickled. We always have but it seems like we eat even more now and a wider range of them. We also make and eat a lot of pickles. Now when I say pickles I’m not just talking about pickled cucumbers. We’ve tried pickling a few different veggies. Some were successful, others… not so much. Cucumbers are of course the obvious choice and a favorite of ours. We have several different pickling recipes we do so that even with pickled cucumbers we still have a variety of flavors.
As the weather starts to get colder I’m looking forward to more ramen, golden curry, and wonton soups. I love soups and stews in the winter. I’m hoping to talk Hubby into doing a hot pot again as well. (I love interactive foods)
I’m not saying everyone should switch to a Japanese diet, but I think we could learn a lot from the foods they eat and the way they eat it; smaller portions, less sugar, more fermented foods, and fresher ingredients.
by Nikki Amare | Oct 19, 2019 | Musings
The decision to take a big step back from social media means I’m now spending the time writing. I still have the apps on my iPad, but I no longer feel the need to check them constantly. I’m one of those people who hates seeing the little dot thingy (technical term) that pops up to let you know that you have notifications. I don’t like them so I will always click on whatever app has it just to get them to go away. Which meant I used to click on Facebook ten times a day or more to clear my notifications and then I’d end up scrolling through the feed and checking what was going on in some of the author groups. The next thing I know I’ve just wasted hours that I could have spent writing or doing something else useful.
In the last three months I’ve written more than I have this entire year. In fact, I wrote three novel length stories, a novella, and around 150,000 words on three other works in progress. Compared to the one novella, one short story, and around 80,000 words I had written in the earlier part of this year.
I still go onto social media ever so often. I typically check Facebook once a week and in the evenings while I’m watching television with Hubby I’ll scroll through Instagram durning the commercial breaks. A few times a month I will check out Pinterest for new recipes. But that’s been the extent of my social media usage the last few months and I find that I like it that way. I would much rather spend my time writing; whether that is a novel, a blog post, or a newsletter.
Social media is one of those things I’ve never been good at. Mostly because I live a boring life and I actually prefer it that way. I’m a homebody. My best friend teases me about being a hermit all the time since I will go weeks or even months without leaving my house. I’m not someone who has to go somewhere and do something all the time. If I could afford it I’m pretty sure I would just spent my days reading and eating and nothing else. Because I love books and good food.
My Instagram feed is pretty much all pictures of food. Either the beautiful food Hubby makes or the different loaves of bread I’ve made. There might be a few other things thrown in but that’s mostly it at the moment. I haven’t posted any pictures for awhile. I’m never going to be one of those people who thinks to reach for a phone or camera first, so there are a lot of times where we’re already eating before I think about taking a picture. Having the ‘no electronics at the dinner table’ rule means my phone is usually in the living room. So I have to make a conscious effort when I do take a photo.
But all of that means I don’t have a lot to share on a daily basis. I avoid drama in my life and online. I’m not big on gossip and I’m not up on the latest trends. And I don’t have time to search online for things to share just so I can share something.
So instead I’m going to focus on writing the best books I can and using things like Facebook ads to promote my books and hope that’s enough.
