by Nikki Amare | Mar 5, 2020 | Musings
I know I’ve missed blogging the last few weeks. Right now, things here are a little hectic. I’ve been dealing with doctors this week in addition to trying to get the last of our things packed up so they will be ready in just a few short weeks when Hubby leaves to drive them out West. We’ve rented a storage unit for now. Once we have property we’re planning to build a shed to store everything until the house is built.
We’re hoping to be out of here by June at the latest. Ideally we’ll be able to leave sometime in April, but definitely by June. Between now and then, however, blog posts will probably be mostly nonexistent. I’ve got so much going on right now that worrying about getting a bog post up every week is the least of them. As was the case before, when something has to give it’s usually going to be blogging first.
But in the good news department, I’ve been getting a lot of writing done lately. I’m hoping to be able to finish the latest book by the end of the month or shortly there after. It was meant to be a standalone, just something to work on in a different world since I got stuck on my main work in progress, but it has series potential so there could possibly end up being more than one. We’ll just have to wait and see how I’m feeling once I finish this book.
I will also be redesigning my website in the near future. My website is currently hosted on Squarespace, which I absolutely love. Squarespace is a great platform and very user friendly. I highly recommend it to any DIY author who wants to have control of their site without having to worry about learning how to code. I’ve been a Squarespace member for ten years now and have built countless sites using the platform.
But later this year I will be switching from squarespace.com to a self-hosted wordpress.org website. This wasn’t an easy choice for me to make since, as I mentioned, I love Squarespace and the ease of use.
The honest truth is that Hubby and I are at a point in our lives where we’re transitioning from the life we’ve had to the one we really want. It’s not been easy and it’s gone a lot slower than I would like but it’s happening nonetheless. We have plans to become more independent and finally be able to work for ourselves full-time. Part of that is the move that’s been in progress for the last two years. We have ideas for online businesses that will need websites and of course my author website. We also plan on having a website to document our homesteading experience. While Squarespace is great for a single website, having multiple websites with them can get rather pricy.
Which is why Hubby and I have decided to do the self-hosted WordPress websites. And by Hubby and I, I mean I decided and he nodded since he’s never had a website before and therefore doesn’t really know anything about it. It’s cheaper for use to get a VPS hosting package through Dreamhost (which is the company I have my domain names with) where we can have unlimited websites. I love Dreamhost because they are a privately own company and have excellent customer service. Not to mention they have some really great packages available, from shared hosting all the way up to dedicated servers.
While I’ve built numerous websites on Squarespace, I’ve only built one or two on WordPress and it’s been several years since the last one. For the next few months I’ll be putting in a lot of time trying to learn everything I’ll need. That includes familiarizing myself with the WordPress platform again. Which means watching a lot of videos and reading a lot of blog posts. There’s always a learning curve whenever learning anything new but I’m hoping it isn’t too steep.
But that also means less time to write blog posts. Hopefully soon I’ll be posting about how we’ve finally left our old life behind and are embarking on our new one.
Here’s to changes and building the life you really want.
by Nikki Amare | Feb 19, 2020 | Musings
I wasn’t going to write another post about writing but then I realized I had a bit more to say. Mostly about why I don’t share information about what I’m writing. Once I have a book written I can share snippets and things online but when I’m working on that first draft I can’t talk about it at all. Not to my husband or best friend or anyone. Me talking about a book or a character before I’ve finished that book is the kiss of death for me. It’s the fastest way to ensure that book never gets written.
As an organic writer I see the story in my head like a movie on the screen. I’m watching events take place and listening to the characters tell their stories and then I just write it down. I laugh and I cry and I’m often just as surprised by what happens in the story as the reader will be. That’s what makes it fun for me. But I can only tell each story once. I prefer to do so by putting it on the page as opposed to verbally telling someone else. Once I tell someone else the story, then that’s it, my brain is like, “Okay, well we’ve told that story now let’s move on to the next one.” Doesn’t matter how well the writing was going up to that point, odds are I’ll never finish that story. Or if I do the ending will feel forced, because it is.
In the book, On Writing, by Stephen King he talks about writing the first draft with a closed door. I don’t remember the exact quote but the point is that it’s important when you sit down to write to write that first draft as if no one other that you will ever read it. You write that story for yourself and no one else. Once it’s done then you can let the rest of the world in, you can open the door, but until you’ve gotten to the end that story is all yours. That’s not the case for every writer. If you’ve read my previous blog posts then you know I’m big on finding your own way, doing what works for you. Some people work better when they have others to brainstorm or collaborate with. Just like some people love using writing sprints or writing to music. For me, I need a quiet room with no distractions and I need to keep my story to myself until it’s told.
by Nikki Amare | Feb 12, 2020 | Musings
Last week I talked a bit about my writing process. I mentioned how I don’t allow myself to edit as I go, how I reread at least a few chapters before I write more, and how I can’t write and edit in the same time frame. I also mentioned that I work on multiple manuscripts at the same time.
I’m an organic writer, or what some would call a pantser—someone who writes by the seat of their pants as opposed to plotting out the story beforehand.
I don’t have an outline of what’s going to happen. I don’t have character sheets full of details, from everything from what that character looks like to their favorite food. When I sit down to write I typically have a character in mind and a vague idea of the world the inhabit. That’s it. I might know who their love interest is if I’m working on romance or what their goal is if I’m not. But a lot of times I don’t even know that. I just sit down and let that character tell me their story.
I’ve found that the writing goes faster if I have no expectations. It’s like watching a movie for the first time when you haven’t even seen a trailer first so you have no idea what to expect. I see things unfold in my head and I do my best to write it all down. It’s that simple and that complicated.
Once my conscience mind kicks in and starts thinking, what if we did this or maybe they should do that, then things usually stall out for me. Because instead of listening to my characters I’m trying to make them go where I think they should and it never works out well. It happens with every book. Unless it’s one of those stories that I can write the first draft in a day or two—which is something that rarely happens—I know I’m going to hit a point where my conscious mind decides it knows better. Working on more than one book at a time allows me to step back and to immerse myself in another world, another character. In doing so my conscience mind shuts off again and when it kicks back in I switch to another manuscript. By the time I go back to the first one it’s usually been long enough that I can’t remember what I thought should happen and so I’m able to just listen to the characters again.
I’ve tried having multiple works in progress in the same genre or even the same series before, but anytime I’ve done that I ended getting things confused. So I find it easier to work on completely different stories. So I might have a contemporary romance, an epic fantasy, and a sci-fi romance going at the same time. Not only does it allow me to keep writing when I stall in one book, but it also keeps me from getting bored with my writing.
If I get bored with a story, then I don’t want to work on it anymore. For me, writing is something that is work but shouldn’t feel like work. Writing is something I do because I enjoy it. Once it begins to feel like work, like something I have to do, then it becomes something to avoid. I know this about myself and so I’ve figured out ways to combat this. It’s taken me years and I’m not always successful, but I am more often than not these days. And sometimes that’s all that really matters.
Celebrate the little wins because they often add up to bigger ones.
by Nikki Amare | Feb 7, 2020 | Musings
The last two weeks have been really busy for me, which is why there was no blog post last week and I’m late getting one up this week. When I get busy I prefer to use my time to focus on writing my books instead of blogging. A few hundred words added to my current manuscript is a better use of my time than writing a post for my blog.
I’ve learned over the years to carve out time to write. While I prefer to have long stretches of time, that isn’t always possible. If I have at least an hour then I’m good. Anything less than that and I will usually focus on writing a blog post or two instead because I need at least an hour to read over what I’ve already written and get back into the story. I don’t always read the entire book from page one. Sometimes I only read the last two or three chapters just to remind myself where I am and what’s happening. I try not to edit while rereading, since that way leads to madness for me. If I allow myself to really edit those chapters then I will end up editing those chapters over and over and over again and I will never finish the book.
I do, however, fix typos or add in missing words as I go along. Occasionally I’ll expand on a scene. But even that I am careful with because adding a few sentences here and there is one thing but if I’m not careful I end up deleting stuff and rewriting and then I’m in editing mode and no longer in creative mode. Those are two completely different mindsets and once my critical brain takes over it’s impossible for me to shut it off.
In editing mode I start over analyzing everything from the sentence length to the word choice and then the creative writing comes to a full stop. It’s why I prefer to write a first draft and then set it aside for at least a month before I start on edits. If I’m editing a book then I’m not writing. I know authors who will split their time up so they are writing new words in the morning and working on edits in the evenings, but I can’t do that.
When I was writing full time before I would write the first draft of one book and continue working on another while I let that first one sit for a few weeks to a month. If writing was going well then I might even finish the first draft of a second book while I’m waiting to begin edits on that first book. Then I set the second book aside and switch to editing mode. I would spend a few weeks working on nothing but edits for the first book and then when I was done I would take a few days to a week off and then start on edits for the second book. Once edits were done on both I would then take a week or two and just relax and refill my creative well. I typically do a lot of reading for pleasure to help switch off that critical brain and then I’d start working on another book or two, since I prefer to work on more than one book at a time.
My process won’t work for everyone but it works for me.
by Nikki Amare | Jan 22, 2020 | Musings
If you’ve read my earlier blog posts then you know I’ve started eliminating things from my life in order to be healthier. Along the way I also started looking at the amount of waste we produce and have begun to take steps to reduce that amount. In recent months one of the things I decided is when it comes to clothing I’m no longer going to buy new. I mean there are obviously some things I’ll buy new. However, things like jeans, pants, shirts, sweaters, jackets, shoes, etc. I plan to buy secondhand.
Why?
Because the fashion industry is one of the most wasteful industries there are. They create new lines every season or at least every year, trying to get you to buy the latest trend. What they don’t sell often goes into the landfills when they clear it out to make room for the new stuff. There are lots of second hand stores around, but there are also apps like Thred Up that allow you to buy gently used and like new items at a fraction of the price.
I first used them three or four years ago. I saw an advertisement and decided to check them out. I ordered a few things and was surprised at how easy it was to shop. When my purchase arrived the items I got looked brand new. In a few cases they still had the tags attached. I have some old jackets I’m thinking about sending to them to sell. It will be my first time trying to sell things through their app. They don’t take everything, but they give you the option to either pay to have the items they reject sent back to you, or they will donate them for you at no cost to you. Since I got rid of two-thirds of my closet last year I don’t have a whole lot to sell at the moment. Other than the coats.
There are other such apps out there and plenty of local secondhand stores around, but the only app I’ve used is Thred Up. It’s easy to search and they even have it so you can input your sizes and then search only those items that match. It makes it a lot easier to find what you’re looking for. It also allows me to buy items that I normally wouldn’t due to the original prices. For instance, I recently bought a $250 dollar pair of boots for $70 and a $70 jacket for $23. It’s those savings that allow me to buy higher end items without feeling guilty. Because I just can’t justify spending $250 on a pair of boots no matter how nice they are.
The one big downside is that there is only one item so you have to decide quickly whether or not you want it because depending on what it is, odds are it won’t last long. And if you get it home and then it doesn’t fit you can’t just order the next size. But I’ve found that this means if I buy something it’s something I really want. I browse often and will add things to my favorite list and then set it aside. If it’s still available in a few hours or even a few days then I’ll take a second look and if I still want it and it’s something I need and not just want, then I’ll add it to my cart and keep it there for an hour or so before hitting that buy button. I figure if someone else buys it before I can get it into my cart then I wasn’t meant to have it anyway.
And since I’ve started trying to keep a minimalist wardrobe I only search for the things I need. Like a fleece jacket or a cardigan. I don’t search the entire women’s category because I know there will be things I like but don’t really need. If I don’t see them then I can’t convince myself that one more purse won’t hurt anything. Or that buying that shirt I really like is okay, even though I know I will probably never really wear it because I never dress up.
There are some items that are marked as not returnable, but most of them can be returned for a small fee. So if you get it home and it doesn’t fit or you change you’d mind, you can always sent it back for a refund.
While it’s not ideal since buying online means more carbon emission from the transportation of goods than if you were to buy from a local store, it’s still better than buying new. At least in my opinion. Over the next few years I plan to stop buying from the big chain stores and online retailers and go back to buying from the smaller, local businesses. I know in some instances it won’t be possible to find what I need locally or from a small business, but when at all possible I will be choosing that option.
by Nikki Amare | Jan 8, 2020 | Musings
In years past I would make certain things for the holidays. Things like my baked veggie dip, my cheese ball, and peanut butter fudge. The fudge was really for Hubby since I have never been a big fan of sweets and even less so now that I’ve cut back on sugar. I’d usually have one, maybe two, pieces per batch and they were always small pieces.
I wasn’t going to make them this year since it was just the two of us, but Hubby asked. First for the cheese ball, then the fudge, and finally the dip. I made the cheese ball first and then once it was gone I made the dip and fudge but because Hubby has also cut back on sugar and I had always thought the peanut butter fudge was too sweet anyway, I decided to make some adjustments to the recipe so I could reduce the amount of sugar.
Well…
I didn’t get the ratio right and so the fudge never set properly. Instead of being upset about it, I scooped it into a bowl and decided to call it spoon fudge. It still tastes like peanut butter fudge, if a little less sweet. Plus, now we can eat it without getting sticky fingers and I’m considering sending Hubby to the store for some vanilla ice cream so I can make some peanut butter milk shakes since it’s soft enough that I believe it will blend well. Hubby pointed out that it would also be a good filling for homemade peanut butter cups. And apparently it’s also good spread on toast.
The point is, things rarely turn out the way we want or hope. Instead of getting upset or beating ourselves up for making a mistake, embrace the idea of spoon fudge. It’s not what I had planned but it’s just as good and maybe even better in some ways.
I think a lot of us are guilty of expecting perfection—from ourselves more so than others. I know in my writing I’m the most critical reader I’ll ever have. Things I wouldn’t think twice about in someone else’s books will drive me to distraction in my own. Little things that don’t really matter, I’ll get stuck on because it’s not perfect and my head is telling me it has to be perfect.
Being able to embrace the spoon fudge in my life is something I’m consciously trying to change about myself. To be less critical of myself. To take what comes and make it my own. To be more appreciative of what I do have rather than focusing on the things that didn’t work out.
While life may not work out the way we hoped there’s always room for spoon fudge.
